Month: September 2017

Why Great Girls Sometimes Turn Down Great Guys (TheRebelution.com)

/ Chris / 1 Comment

“Something must be wrong with me.”

That’s what every guy is tempted to think when a girl turns down his request for a date.

“She’s great and doesn’t like me,” we think. “Therefore, something must be wrong with me that needs to be fixed.”

To our logic-oriented male brains, this is the only plausible explanation. It doesn’t make sense to us why two high caliber people couldn’t make a great couple. Yet, it’s not uncommon for a girl to turn down a solid, godly man (or to even break up with him if they’re already dating).

Why do they do that? I’ve wondered this for several years because I’ve experienced this exact predicament. And, like many guys, I’ve had to wrestle through that gut-wrenching feeling that “something is wrong with me.” Continue reading →

“It’s a Jesus Story” Revisited

/ Chris / 12 Comments

Prelude:

In the wake of hearing about too many relationships devastated by immorality and its cover-ups, I couldn’t handle it any longer.

“If we have truly been redeemed and forgiven at the cross by the creator of the universe, why are we hiding our stories?” I asked myself and my family.

Frustrated to the point of anger upon hearing of men who cower in the shadows of their past (which is supposedly redeemed), I suddenly had an idea. It was one of the scariest things I had ever done. Apart from my family and a handful of friends, I had never shared it with anyone. I was sure people would reject me, that no girl would ever accept me after this, that I would lose face—but I knew I had to do it.

So on March 21, 2013 I put into practice what I had learned two months before in “Grieving” and shared one of my darkest secrets. To my surprise, it dramatically changed my life for he better and very well might have saved my faith.

It was this story that caught the attention of Brett Harris and gave him the nudge to ask if I’d write for TheRebelution.com, which has, in itself, changed my life.

I thought I was sharing my story, but in reality, it isn’t mine at all…

Continue reading →

“Grieving” Revisited

/ Chris / 13 Comments

Prelude: 

I published this piece on my old blog two months and a couple weeks after my Mom died on November 6, 2012.

Written during the throes of the deepest grief I’ve experienced, I find my old thoughts still ringing true today. Yet in other ways, I am encouraged by the progress I see. In the second paragraph I talked about many of us not being willing to share honestly about the battles we faced. In the five years since I wrote this, I think that’s changed–at least among my friends. We are much quicker to “just be real.” It may even be to a fault, but I think I’d rather people be a little too honest about their struggles, then try to pretend they’re totally okay or perfect when they’re not. (I don’t know, what are your thoughts? Am I right about the change in atmosphere?)

From the very first two paragraphs, I can see the hand of God weaving a thread through my story that would eventually lead me to make a major, life-changing decision (watch for my next “Revisited” post a week from now).

I pray this is a comfort to those of you going through the same.

Continue reading →

Every Boy Needs a Woman to Give Flowers To

/ Chris / 2 Comments

I’ve learned something about the hearts of little boys (and men in general) by watching my little niños here in Bolivia.

Every boy needs a woman to give flowers to.

I’m convinced it’s as fulfilling for the boy to give flowers as it is for the woman to receive them.

Here’s why I say that…

I never thought about it, but my childhood was full of little indications that a strong, gentle woman was watching out for me. My laundry was always clean, folded, and waiting for me on my bed. My pants were mended, my stomach filled, and my collar straightened (if not by Mom, then by another woman at church in the row behind me). These were little subconscious reminders that I was cared for and secure–that I had a mother.

Here at the children’s home, we struggle between the tension of wanting the boys to learn responsibility while not wanting to rob them of that special care and attention only a woman can give.

Is having them do things such as their own laundry (paltry amounts every day), a creative way to teach them responsibility and independence or are we taking away a seemingly insignificant but important woman’s touch in their lives?

Of course, Father figures (in this case, me and Levi) should be gentle and caring. The myth leftover from the 60s of masculinity being about Schwarzenegger muscles and brute power is absolute rubbish. True masculinity is gentle and caring. Still, for heaven’s sake, I can’t be a mother to these boys nor should I try to be.

Continue reading →