Prelude:
In the wake of hearing about too many relationships devastated by immorality and its cover-ups, I couldn’t handle it any longer.
“If we have truly been redeemed and forgiven at the cross by the creator of the universe, why are we hiding our stories?” I asked myself and my family.
Frustrated to the point of anger upon hearing of men who cower in the shadows of their past (which is supposedly redeemed), I suddenly had an idea. It was one of the scariest things I had ever done. Apart from my family and a handful of friends, I had never shared it with anyone. I was sure people would reject me, that no girl would ever accept me after this, that I would lose face—but I knew I had to do it.
So on March 21, 2013 I put into practice what I had learned two months before in “Grieving” and shared one of my darkest secrets. To my surprise, it dramatically changed my life for he better and very well might have saved my faith.
It was this story that caught the attention of Brett Harris and gave him the nudge to ask if I’d write for TheRebelution.com, which has, in itself, changed my life.
I thought I was sharing my story, but in reality, it isn’t mine at all…
Men
Every Boy Needs a Woman to Give Flowers To
I’ve learned something about the hearts of little boys (and men in general) by watching my little niños here in Bolivia.
Every boy needs a woman to give flowers to.
I’m convinced it’s as fulfilling for the boy to give flowers as it is for the woman to receive them.
Here’s why I say that…
I never thought about it, but my childhood was full of little indications that a strong, gentle woman was watching out for me. My laundry was always clean, folded, and waiting for me on my bed. My pants were mended, my stomach filled, and my collar straightened (if not by Mom, then by another woman at church in the row behind me). These were little subconscious reminders that I was cared for and secure–that I had a mother.
Here at the children’s home, we struggle between the tension of wanting the boys to learn responsibility while not wanting to rob them of that special care and attention only a woman can give.
Is having them do things such as their own laundry (paltry amounts every day), a creative way to teach them responsibility and independence or are we taking away a seemingly insignificant but important woman’s touch in their lives?
Of course, Father figures (in this case, me and Levi) should be gentle and caring. The myth leftover from the 60s of masculinity being about Schwarzenegger muscles and brute power is absolute rubbish. True masculinity is gentle and caring. Still, for heaven’s sake, I can’t be a mother to these boys nor should I try to be.